Sunday, 15 April 2007

Beyond Recall

I am Valium, of the second Unit,
Third level, zero zero three of Terra One.
I sit and stare at the blank, white wall.
They are correcting my mental deviation.
And yet, even as the white light gently washes my
Cerebral Cortex, I can still hear the steady plod of
The great beast's feet and the jingle of the
Metalled straps.
I look inside myself again, but find nothing to
Match my dreams.
My memory fails the images.
Nothing gives substance or meaning to my strange
Hallucinations, if that is what they are.
Something!... of ineffable grace, weightlessness and
Beauty soars into the unpolluted air of my mind and
Sings a song of such sweet pain that I feel a
Physical stab to my heart.
What can it be?
'A darkling thrush in blast-beruffled plume'.
What strange words and yet what ecstatic sounds!
The great beasts plod on, steaming at their sides,
Powerful, but gentle beasts, singular, magnificent
Beasts with heavy, hairy feet.
More words come to haunt my brain,
'Hair soft-lifted by the winnowing wind'.
How beautiful the sounds, even without meaning.
What is wind?
Perhaps they are from some long banned videotape?
I know not.
They said I should not have these thoughts;
Counter productive and socially regressive they said,
Adding that a period of correction would
Cleanse my brain.
It has not.
Somehow I feel that it never will.
These things, images, sounds, must have some
Purpose that I know not of.
A perfume now assails my nose, pungent in its
Strength, but not unpleasant.
More disconnected words, bread, fresh,
The smell is warm and comforting as of a...
Why does kitchen spring to mind?
What is kitchen?
What is bread?
I know not these things and yet regret their
Passing, if passed they are and not prophetic be.
I am soft-sift with many thoughts fallen from the
Outer space of another time and another place.
They have squeezed themselves into the capsule of
My being, without relation to the cold world of
Terra One and I weep that I have not the wit to
Make them sense.
What means now the smell of burning flesh that
Waters thus the palate of my mouth and conjures
Tastes that tease the tendrils of a memory aeons gone?
Soft caresses of a summer breeze would seem to
Mean so much yet goes for naught.
There is no summer in my world, no breeze nor
Soft caress.
We, they say, are perfection reached.
Processed with care from genesis to re-cycle time.
Perhaps there lies a fault in me?
A computer error in my genetic genesis?
I know not.
I know only that the things I now hear, see and
Smell have a quality and joy I tremble to imagine.
True perfection is, perhaps, a common thing we
Tread beneath our feet or carelessly destroy in
Searching for that very virtue.
Perhaps these things existed and we buried them
Behind white walls or beneath vain-glorious
Monuments to progress and our own greed.
If so...wither now?

No comments: